I Rant...Therefore, I Am: Godzilla: Steady as Always

I Rant...Therefore, I Am: Godzilla: Steady as Always
http://ryanosblahg.blogspot.com

The New Year and Beyond

On the cusp of a New Year, with all that has transpired over the past 12 months, I offer up my gifts to those woe-begone souls who long for something more.


To all of you who gave me material of some sort to use on my site: Thank you. I never quote anyone directly, so technically I am doing no wrong. Some of you may be upset because I tend to twist words to fit my needs. Sorry, it just makes things more entertaining...at least for me, anyway.


Sam Harbaugh: I have to credit Sam for the "Broke-Back Mountain" quote from the "Dallas Sucks" article. I wouldn't have thought of that. But the gay-cowboy reference was too good to pass up. Thanks, Samwell.

To all you Cowboy and Giant fans: Some band-aids and neosporin for your boo-boos and a nice comfy seat on the couch to watch the Super-Bowl. I think I'll be in Detroit...pray for me.


You Penguin Fans (and anyone else who can't stop worshipping Sidney Crosby) : Alex Ovechkin is better. Sorry. Caps fans got the best gift this year in hockey. Not to say Crosby isn't destined for greatness. He may very well be. But, he is no Big "O". In all honesty, I hope that the city of Pittsburgh gets that new arena for your Pens. It would be a crime to not have them playing in Pittsburgh for years to come. And that's coming from a Caps' fan.



Eagle Fans: A same-day cure for a sports-hernia; a wide-out who plays more than he runs his mouth; a running back who can last a whole season; a fan base that doesn't turn on you at a moments notice with tales of impending doom; and Santa Claus--expert in the art of jujitzu-- with a battery-resistant helmet.


To you great fans in Miami: An NBA title that proves Shaq can do it without Kobe, and to prove Kobe isn't Michael Jordan. I don't care how many points Kobe scores in a game...Jordan, Duncan, Magic and Bird all played within the parameters of a team...and the team won. Phil Jackson, what are you thinking?

Washington Nationals Fans: A ratified lease-agreement with Major League Baseball; an owner who is willing to spend some cash to add vital pieces to a solid club; and a shiny new stadium by 2008, complete with a rotunda like the old Ebbets Field.

Washington DC Residents: A city council that realizes the financial windfall of reversing urban blight and building a new economic district to increase the tax base, creating more money to upgrade schools and the infrastructure. (See MCI Center and surrounding neighborhoods.)



Rafael Palmeiro: the ability to tell the truth to the fans who supported you for two decades and the desire to come clean. If you had done these simple things, like Jason Giambi did, then we would all be celebrating your Hall-of Fame induction. Obviously, not anymore.


Yankee Fans: A payroll under $200 million that actually yields a World Series winner. Come on, you have to admit that all those prospects you traded away had to help someone else more than spending too much for players were in a contract year. Money doesn't buy you a world title... just ask the New York Rangers or Dan Snyder.



Playoffs?!

I have to admit, I was extremely nervous last Saturday when Patrick Ramsey entered the game at quarterback for the Redskins. All I could think about was the game last year when Mark Brunell went down and Ramsey threw a boat-load of interceptions and the Skins got crushed. Ramsey did little to quell the anxiety when he called two quick timeouts last Saturday in about 4 downs. I couldn't watch. I happened to be in the bathroom when he hit Santana Moss for an acrobatic 72 yard touchdown that kept the Redskins rolling on their way to a 35-20 victory over the Giants. Isn't Patrick the shit?!

This is it, Redskin Fans! If the Skins beat the Eagles, they will make the playoffs. Come on, Joe Gibbs hasn't lost it! Before his return last season, Gibbs' teams missed the post season only 4 out of 12 seasons. That was before the expanded wildcard. And his second year in the league, the Redskins won it all, with a team very similiar to this one: Veteran QB, solid running game, great O-line and a disciplined defense.

This years team has risen to the occassion the past 4 weeks and shown it can beat the crap out of anyone. And with Ramsey's solid play last weekend against the Giants, there obviously is some depth on this team. I don't want to get into why I think this year is a repeat of the '82 season... not yet, anyway. I have my doubts and will keep them to myself. But, should things go right for the Burgundy and Gold in the next 3-4 weeks... I may reveal the details of my prophecy. I have a lot to say about destiny and how history repeats itself, but I can not do this now. Either I watch my Skins make a run or sit with those Cowboy and Giant Fans on the couch and watch some one else win it all in the Super Bowl... I'd rather root for the Flyers.

The Big "O" Update (Legal Version)

In case you haven't been following the legal minefield the Caps have been navigating this fall and early winter, here it is in a nutshell:

1.) After owning the rights to Czech Star Peter Sykora for the past 3 years--not the Peter Sykora who plays for the Anaheim Mighty Ducks, but the one in the Czech League--the Caps finally got him here for training camp and the start of the regular season. After two weeks and a few goals, the Caps sent Sykora back to Europe because his heart wasn't in it and he reportedly was on his cell-phone with his mom when he wasn't skating a shift. The Caps threatened to go to court to get this guy to honor his contract. He relented and came west. His heart wasn't in it and the Caps sent him back to the Czech Republic. Looks like it worked out well for both parties.

2.) Alexander Semin, former first round pick and Russian Phenom, told the Caps for the past two years he could not play for them because he had a military obligation to fulfill in his home country of Russia. Semin has loads of talent, but hasn't signed up to serve for the Russian military since the Caps started the season. He is playing for some Russian League team and the Caps are pursuing the matter in court to try and get Semin to honor his contract. The case is pending...the Caps should remember what happened with their Peter and leave their Semin in Russia.

3.) To top all this off, Moscow Dynamo--a member of the Russian Super League--has claimed ownership of Caps star and Calder Trophy candidate Alexander Ovechkin. Dynamo claims it matched the offer Ovechkin signed with Avangard Omsk after Ovechkin helped Dynamo win the championship last April. However, Dynamo admits to not matching the clause in the contract that allowed the Big O to leave Russia if the NHL lockout ended and the NHL resumed operation. It has been said that Moscow Dynamo doesn't want Ovechkin back, they just want cash, although Moscow Dynamo insist they do not. The ruling is still pending. I'm no lawyer--paging Mike Chase--but if Moscow Dynamo didn't match a clause in the contract Ovechkin signed with Avangard Omsk, than how could they say they matched the offer? Please, tell me how that works out legally! A.O.'s day in court is coming, and I have a feeling that he will be staying here in Washington. Since the Caps' seem to be the only team with this trouble 3 times over, is there any hope on the horizon? Since they seem destined to lose the first two cases, the third time's the charm, right?

By the way, Ovechkin has 22 goals to lead all rookies, has 10 powerplay goals to lead all rookies and has 42 points to lead all rookies--even more than Sidney Crosby! At his current pace, the Big "O" could score 52 goals and finish with 92 points this season. He plays defense, he hits people, and has won more games for his team than any other rookie this season. Not bad, huh?

You know who the Caps remind me of? The 2003-04 Atlanta Thrashers. When Ilya Kolachuk first played with Atlanta, he scored a lot but the team sucked. The next year, Atlanta was better and added some depth around their super-star. Sounds familiar, don't you think? Its about time the Caps got a great player after 31 years of futility... someone that might be the first building block to Lord Stanley's Cup. Although, Hockey and Boobie Night will live on no matter what, it would be nice to see a great team light the lamp. Can I get a Yeah-yeah!? I'm white, I can't help it. I'm writing about hockey, for christsake!

Quote of the week:

"Try getting drunk four nights a week and going to pitch nine innings. That's an athlete to me."

--David Cone talking to Dan Patrick for ESPN the Magazine

Godzilla: Steady as Always

Being a Capitals fan is a lesson in futility, at least so far. I grew up in DC and I love my Caps. I've seen good and bad. But since 1998, when the Caps advanced to the Stanley Cup Finals, there has been one constant for us Cap fans to enjoy...and that is the play of Olie Kolzig. Without him, we wouldn't have won the Eastern Conference in '98. We wouldn't have 10 wins this year...A rebuilding year, might I add...if Godzilla wasn't between the pipes.

The Caps traded all of their top players as the 2002-04 season wound down, but hey kept Olie. Most experts gave the Caps crap for that, but I think they were smart. They traded Jaromir Jagr, Robert Lang, Sergei Gonchar, Mike Grier and Peter Bondra for great young talent. That young talent had the chance to get to know each other and play together during the lockout while playing together in the minor leagues. It's a long term plan, but one that so far might pay dividends sooner than expected. What might make the growth of the Caps happen more rapidly is the play of Olie The Goalie.

The Caps Drafted Kolzig in 1989. He was an 18 year old phenom, blessed with a big physic and cat-like moves. He took up the whole net with his big frame and made acrobatic saves. He was destined for Super-stardom! Kolzig had a temper, however, and some thought he was too young when he first entered the league. On top of that, he was said to have quite the temper, which kept him from focusing during games. Kolzig would be hard on himself after any goal, which led to giving up soft goals. He spent portions of 9 years in the minors without sticking in the NHL.

The Caps began looking else where for goaltender help. Kolzig was bumped down the depth chart until he was loaned to Rochester Americans of the AHL. To be loaned to another team's minor league team pretty much spells your doom with your parent organization. The Caps were basically giving up on Kolzig; they didn't have room for him on any of there affliates rosters. Not a good way to stick with the organization. How are you supposed to respond to that? Kolzig went on to lead the Americans to the Championship. Won MVP honors. The Caps retained his rights.

For a few years, young goalie Jim Carey flashed grit and poise in the Caps net through 2 regular seasons. But in the playoffs, Carey wilted badly two years in a row, allowing another goalie, a bit older and more seasoned, to flash his potential. That would be Olaf Kolzig. Kolzig was solid in net two years in a row in against the Penguins in the playoffs. After trading Carey to the Bruins in 1997 that brought Bill Ranford to the team. Ranford won a Stanley Cup with Edmonton. He was in his early 30's and gave them a veteran goaltender to start the 97-98 season. Ranford took over the starters position; Kolzig was still #2.

Well, Ranford got hurt early in the 1997-98 season, and Olie Kolzig hasn't given up the position of #1 goalie since. He backstopped the Caps to the Stanley Cup in that glorious '98 season, where for three playoffs series, everything went our way. And Godzilla was a rock. He won the Vezina Trophy (Best Goaltender) in 2000. Kolzig turned that temper into a strong voice on the ice, helping and instructing his teammates, barking orders and encouragement. Instead of letting his emotions get the best of him, Kolzig used it to focus his game and be a vocal leader on the ice--something a lot of goalies don't do.

Although Olie has a losing record this season, he has a good goals against average and save percentage. The Caps haven't played very well at times this year, but not because of Olie the Goalie. He's tutoring a young team that needs him to be great every night--many night he is-- and he gives them the best chance to win.

The Caps were quiet about whether or not they would trade Olie this year if they could get quality in return. Kolzig's a free agent after this year, and is in high demand with playoff contending teams like Vancouver--with goalie Dan Cloutier hurt. Kolzig has always said that he wants to stay here. He wants to be one of those rare athletes that wants to stay with one team, for his entire career. He must have noticed Cal up in Charm City, sticking it out, thru good and bad, because this was home. Both guys wanted to be here. They both were good enough to warrant it, and the fans wanted them to stay, too. From the owner to the soda guy; form the skybox to the to the top row, we hoped they would stay. It seems the Caps hoped the team would show some signs of maturing this season, gaining confidence with their big goalie keeping them competitive almost every night. GM George McPhee recently said there was no chance Kolzig would leave. Case closed.

In a perfect world, Alexander Ovechkin leads this team in scoring, the young talent on the team and in the minors keeps maturing and learning the game, and with maybe a key trade or two, the Caps might discover future glory and post season success. One thing to be sure of is that #37 will probably be in net, manning the pipes, barking and yelling at his teammates. He's risen to the occasion before. Great goalies have played into their early 40's. Olie's 36. Nothing puts you in a better position to win than great goaltending. With 237 career wins, its conceivable Kolzig will win over 300 games. What better time to get those wins with an exciting young team to lead.

I met Olie once. I bought him a beer the day he threw out the first pitch at an Oriole Game after winning the Vezina. My girlfriend and I were seated a few rows back, and I sent a Coors Light down to him. I ran into him on the concourse (yeah, I kinda followed him) and he was a cool dude. He shook my hand and talked for a minute. Took the time to say hi and not be a jerk. It was pretty refreshing, a lot of athletes don't do that. Of course, Kolzig has done a lot that other athletes haven't done.

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Science Fact of the Week

It was announced on Friday that two new moons and new rings were discovered around Uranus using the Hubble telescope. The findings suggest a much more active and unstable system around your anus... I mean Uranus. I'm not making this up. Go to www.space.com and check for yourself. Interesting story. If you want a better understanding of how the universe works and what this new info means, check out Ryan's blog: http://ryanosblahg.blogspot.com

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My brother and I had a fairly heated argument on the phone the other day

about who was the best running back in NFL history. Did I say heated? OK, if we had been in the same room, we would have beat the shit out of each other. We couldn't agree on who was #1. We agreed on four of the top five, but we kept hitting a snag on who should be crowned the greatest Running back of all-time. He says Emmitt Smith, I say Walter Payton. I say, you have to take into account how good the teams were around these players. We can get into a whole bunch of what-if scenarios, but let's not. Here's what I think:

Top five runningbacks in my opinion

5. Gale Sayers: Probably would have been the greatest ever, but injuries cut his career well short of the greatness he could have produced. The team around him was ok, not great. He made things happen on his own. Returned kicks, punts and had the sweetest moves of all-time.

4. Jim Brown: The first runningback beast in the league. It was a different era in Brown's day, but he was the Man! Big, fast and mean as hell, he probably could have put the total rushing yard mark out of everyone's reach if he hadn't retired so soon.

3. Barry Sanders: The guy had no defense in his career with the Lions. His offense was shoddy at best, with a few over-achieving teams sprinkled in. Was tackled for a loss more times than anyone in NFL history, which makes the fact that he is third on the all-time rushing list even more spectacular! Imagine how many rings Barry would have had if he had a defense and a few receivers. And he retired before he was 33.

2. Emmitt Smith: This is hard for me to write. It really is. But, you have to settle for the facts. The fact is, Emmitt played for 16 years. The fact is Emmitt Smith is going to the Hall of Fame. And the fact is I said no "what if" scenarios. So Emmit is #2. He was durable, played hurt and was a leader on a 3 time Super Bowl winner. He led the league in rushing multiple times, scored however many touchdowns, which puts him something on the all-time list, and is the all-time leading rusher in NFL history.

Smith was a giant piece to the puzzle on a team that basically dominated the early 90's, but without his teammates, he wouldn't have done what he did. I know Cowboy fans will argue, but read number one and then decide for yourselves.

1. Walter Payton: Ah...Sweetness. Walter Payton was like a dancer on the field. He could leap over you; he could run over you. Walter could streak by you, or stiff arm you into submission. In his early career, he ran back punts and kicks, and scored. In 1978, Payton rushed for 278 yards in a single game, more than anyone else in history. Payton was a complete football player. Defense lineman hated to block him. He chased down interceptions with abandon and usually made the guy pay for it when he caught him. Walter played each play one way...All out. His teams never came close to the playoffs until Ditka and Buddy Ryan built a complete team in the mid-80's. I saw a Redskins/Bears game in 85 when McMahon threw an interception and Walter was the guy who chased down the defender and made him pay. The most complete football player I have ever seen.

Honorable Mentions:

Marcus Allen: Had a long career, especially for a running back. Was a great receiver out of the backfield. Probably the last Hall of Fame Heisman trophy winner (please let me know if I'm wrong on that.) He won Super Bowl 18 for the Raiders with a then record of 191 yards.

Eric Dickerson: He was amazing his first 5 or 6 years, but like many running backs in NFL history, the wear and tear just broke him down. After he gained over 2000 yards in his second season, he slowly declined and wasn't the back he started out as.

Curtis Martin: A go getter, been on good and bad teams, yet still seems to get his yards and put his team in a position to win. If Curtis comes back from this year's knee injury and can keep grinding out the yards for the Jets over a few more years, he could pass Emmitt Smith as the all-time leading rusher in NFL history. I hope he gets healthy.

The Big O Update

The Caps have won their past two games. Alex had 2 goals and 3 assists in those games. He was just named to the Russian Olympic Hockey team and leads all NHL rookies in goals 20 and points with 39 (Sidney Crosby was left off Team Canada and sits three points behind Ovechkin in rookie scoring). The Big O became the first Caps rookie to score 20 goals since 1980-81, when the "Can't Miss Kid" Bobby Carpenter scored 32 in his rookie campaign. I think Alex might score more than that this year. Ovechkin won another shootout on Thursday with the help of three great saves by Brent Johnson. Sidney who?

Three columns in one week? My gift to you all.

Merry Christmas Everyone!!

Redskins Crush the 'Boys

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Dallas Week 2005

So much to say, so much happening in the world of sports. I thought it was only appropriate to start with the Maryland Men's Soccer Team. That's right, the Soccer Terps won the NCAA Division -1 Championship. Who says soccer doesn't matter?! In this area, this is exactly the kind of boost the sport of soccer needs. Congratulations to the Maryland Men's Soccer team...NCAA Champs!


We want Dallas

Its Dallas week, folks, in case you haven't been paying attention. That's right, America's Team (gag!) visits Fedexfield this Sunday with playoff implications. The last time that happened was in 1992. (Do the names Jason Buck and Danny Copeland mean anything to you? Uncle Terry has a great picture incase you need to refresh your memory.) Dallas...at home...in the cold...with the playoffs on the line. What could be better? Maybe a lap dance... but it's too close to call.
This is the Sunday when we find out what the Redskins are made of. This is when we find out if the Monday night game in the big D was a fluke or if we truly are a playoff team. After 13 up and down weeks, the Skins are on the brink of elimination and must win the next three games to even have a chance to go to the post season. Those three games are against the Cowboys, Giants and Eagles. Imagine that! Games that matter against division rivals around Christmas-time. Just like the good old days. The NFC Beast is awakening, my friends!

Playing must-win games, which the Redskins have done the last two weeks, teach a team what it takes to win. If they lose, they can learn from their mistakes and try to carry that over into the next game; the next season. Its a learning process. You have to walk before you can run. It's been so long since we Redskin fans have witnessed a meaningful division game, i think the first Goeroge Bush was president. Coach Joe is trying to teach his team how to win. Its been a long time since we had a Redskins' team that knew how and when to win. Or when to win, for that matter!

Which sets up Dallas. Oh yes! Nothing beats a meaningful game against Dallas in December. A game that magnifies the hatred and contempt for the rival Cowboys to mammouth proportions. Both teams need to win, to keep the playoffs alive. Both teams need to take the next step in order to make the NFC great again. What better way to bring back the old glory of the NFC East than to have a smash-mouth, for all the glory, Cowboys-Redskin game in December?

I keep hearing a voice in my head, repeating the same line over and over, like some sort of mantra...I can almost make it out...

Fuck Dallas! Fuck Dallas! Fuck Jerry Jones and Bill Parcells! But mostly, Fuck Dallas! I have a t-shirt that says that. Fuck Dallas...Dallas Sucks.



Big Bird becomes a Shark

Was it just my jaw that dropped to the ground when Joe Thornton was traded from the Boston Bruins to the San Jose Sharks? I mean, I'm no hockey insider--I'm sure you all are shocked to hear that--but I've read all of the trade rumors from the beginning of the season and Big Bird was not mentioned once. Thornton was the 1st pick in the draft in 1997. He is one of top 10 best forwards in the league. He's big, he's strong and he scores points like strippers collect dollar bills. Thorton was the Bruins Captain, the face of the franchise, like Bobby Orr and Ray Bourgue before him. He wasn't a guy that was on the block...or so most people thought. But it happened. The B's traded Thornton because the team is in last place and there were reports that the front office felt Tornton wasn't passionate enough. He led the Bruins in points and they cut him loose. Like one guy can win by himself? Please. The Bruins threw him under the bus.
The Sharks couldn't be happier. They traded Marco Sturm, some other guy and some other scrub and got one of the best set-up men in the league. Thornton makes his teammates better, creates scoring chances and wears number 19...perect! I sure wish the Caps had traded Brendan Witt and Danius Zubrus for Thornton so Alex Ovechkin would have a real center. It could have been our T.O. line! Just kidding.
Boston threw away there best player for lesser players. After winning their first game without Thorton, the Bruins have lost three straight. The Sharks haven't lost a game and Thorton is racking up the points. Are Scooby and Shaggy running the show up in Bean-town or what?
Of course, everything comes down to money, and this trade did as well. Boston signed Thornton to a contract in the off-season for $6 million a year that included a no-trade clause that kicks in after this season. If they didn't trade him this year, they couldn't for the next three years. But why they didn't do a sign and trade deal before the season started is beyond me. they could have gotten a better player or two if they had done that.
Poor Joe, he got shipped out of town because he didn't light a fire under his team. He has new life in San Jose. Without the spector of the past Bruin greats to live up to, he can just be Joe Thornton. Looks like he got thrown under the bus and came out unscathed on the other side. Too bad the Bruins did not.


This weeks list: Top 5 most memorable Redskin Cowboy Games

Since I was barely alive for the Clint Longley game, I can't put it on the list. I'm starting with 1982 and moving froward. Games I saw or went to. So many to chose from. Here it goes.

5. Monday Night Football 2005: Two touchdowns in the last 4 minutes. A win over the hated Cowboys, over Bill Parcels and in front of the whole country. Sweetest win the Skins have had in years.

4. Opening Day, 1999: Rocket Ishmael caught a 80 yard touchdown in overtime to win a shootout. I was there. People were throwing themselves off of the ramps on the way out. Typical game from the Norv Turner era...played well enough to win, until the end.

3. Jason Buck 1992

2. Thanksgiving 2003: The Skins lost, but thats the game where Brian Barker broke his nose. That was gross! I remember everyone in the room screamed..." Ugh! That is gross. He looked like he a pig nose.

1. December 1982, NFC Championship Game at RFK


Quote of the week

"So I'm running with Antonio--it was awesome--and i got a chance to take out this guy. But I remember the coaches telling us, 'If you you got a guy lined up, but he's behind the play, leave him alone.' So instead of taking this guy out, I watched Antonio blow kisses."

-Jimmy Farris, Redskins receiver and special teams player, blocking for Antonio Brown last week against the Cardinals.

That's coaching, folks.