The First Time is Always the Sweetest

First and goal...And I'm Off and Running!

Welcome everyone! This is my first foray into the blog-world, and I am excited to share my senseless ramblings with all of you. Since most people have jobs and can't spare the time to talk about my interests with me, I have decided to share them with other people who have free time on their hands. This idea started out as a semi-weekly hockey e-mail about my favorite sports team...The Washington Capitals. Being an aspiring writer, I figured it would be a nice writing exercise to e-mail my semi-sarcastic, yet informative observations on the Caps and the Hockey world to people I know. I figured my brother and my best friends would not be able to keep quiet and would jump at the chance to poke fun at me and my senseless ramblings. And, boy was I right! Not only did they respond, they butchered me...each week, replying to the entire list of people I had sent my e-mail to. Needless to say, my parents were a little upset with the language and the banter that ensued. They both e-mailed me to let me know as much. My friends, however, thought this was hilarious so they stepped it up a couple of notches. A good friend of mine suggested that a blog would be perfect and I agreed. I decided to take my show on the road, so here I am!

Enough of that sh*t. I will be posting pieces a few times a week. It will be heavy with hockey stuff but something else in the sports world will inevitably rub me the wrong way and I'll have to share with you what I think. (Don't worry, I'm f#*king hilarious.) I have other interests and I will share those with you as well. It all my not relate, but it's my blog, so screw you! Make sure you check all of the features on the site. Not all is sports related, and you just might learn something. Just call me a renaissance man.


The Five Points

Each posting will have some sort of version of the five points. It may be three points or it may be ten. I decide as I go. I do not like the title, so our first contest is to rename this section to something better. I may think of it on my own, however, if you have a better suggestion, I may take it. I will give you credit and one of our fabulous prizes!

This week: The Rules of the Blog

1.) There are rules here and I would appreciate full compliance at all times from everyone.

2.) I'm always right. It's my site and I make the rules...Deal with it.

3.) Look for the perverted cliches' I put in everything I write. It's a remnant of my Beavis and Butt-head days. It's my hook. The more you see and respond to, the more prizes you win!

4.) I don't give out prizes. At least not yet. If you guys like my stuff, tell your friends! You help get me a job working for a major paper or magazine?...We'll talk prizes.

5.) The more you respond...The more material I have to wax you with. Bring it on! I feed off of ignorance!

The Sports World as a Whole

Is it just me, or is everyone else sick and tired of the Terrell Owens saga? I have seen and heard more about this than I ever care to see and hear about any athlete...ever! The guy has serious mental and anger issues. His quarterback is playing hurt, his team is divided by his constant diarrhea of the mouth and Terrell can't understand why he can't get more money. Hey, T.O....SHUT UP! You signed your contract. You ran your mouth, and ran yourself out of Philly. You have nothing to do now but wait for the next opportunity somewhere else...Next year. And by the way, you can kiss the money you wanted good-bye. You should have stayed with Eagles and earned your dough. Now, there's no way in hell you will ever make the money you could have. Did it take the doctors long to take the bullet out of your foot? Maybe it was multiple gunshot wounds. That wouldn't surprise me. Idiot. And shame on you, T.O. I'm a Redskin Fan for god's sake! I love when my rivals have these problems! Now, I actually feel sorry for them. I think they are doing the right thing. And not because the Skins' chances of beating them are better, but because you are an A**hole! I'll never forgive you.

Science Fact of the Day

Pluto, it recently was discovered, does not just have one moon, Charon, but two others as well. Recent discoveries of Pluto-sized objects in the Kuiper Belt and the Oort Cloud have put into question just how to classify what is a planet. A lot of scientists wanted to make Pluto a Kuiper Belt object because it orbits outside of Neptune for the most part, and is much smaller than even Earth's moon. But with the new objects being sighted and Pluto now a multiple-planet system...A lot could change on planet classification in the coming years.

**The Big O Update** I will make constant reference to hockey player Alexander Ovechkin (pronounced: O-vetch-kin). Ovechkin is the Caps rookie phenom, taking the hockey world by storm and about the only thing us Capital fans have to look forward to this year. My brother and I have dubbed him "The Big O". Who doesn't like the Big O?
If you are not a hockey fan and you see this kid play, believe me, even you will notice how good Alexander Ovechkin is. Great hockey players exude that feeling, that anticipation that something special is about to happen. The great ones make things happen, and Alexander Ovechkin is one of those players. He has 5 multi goal games, three game winners, is fifth in the league in goals, second in rookie scoring and has more goals than any other first year player this season. The Caps have won 6 games so far this year and the Big O is one of the main reasons. Your Nation's Capitals are starting to show signs of maturing as their other young and talented players learn from their mistakes and improve. Olie Kolzig (Godzilla) keeps them in games. But without Ovechkin, the Caps would be the worst team in the league. He's only 20, yet he set the rookie record for consecutive games with a point to start a career. Ovechkin is so fast and gifted with and without the puck, you would expect he would be splashed all over the hockey world by the league, the team and the media. He provides at least one highlight per game! And it's not because he's flashy...He is just a hustler! His hands are incredible! He won a shootout with 5 moves in a 1.5 second span, held onto the puck with ease and beat the goalie for what proved to be the difference against rival Atlanta. You try that. Most great hockey players can't do that. Gretzky couldn't do that! He should be everywhere, right? For the good of the league and the game that was hurt so much by the lockout and cancellation of the entire 2004-05 season? Right?
Wrong! The Big O is totally getting hosed by the league. The NHL are not promoting him like they and the media are promoting SidneyCrosby. The Caps are promoting Ovechkin, so is the local media (Al Koken, you are my hero!). But Sidney Crosby is the NHL's darling now; their media darling. Casual fans and non-fans recognize his name. He's been on the cover of Sports illustrated, ESPN the Magazine and countless others. He is humble, gracious and calm in an interview. Gretzky was the "Great One". Crosby is being billed as the "Next One"... How original....

Last time I looked, the Big O had won more games for his team, led his team in scoring and scored in three shootouts to help the Caps win, all before Sidney's Penguins won their first game. Christ, Crosby plays with Mario Lemeuix, John Leclair, Sergei Gonchar and Mark Recchi! Those are Hall of Fame guys, as far as I'm concerned. And the Pens didn't win any games until October 28th? Please.
I guess rookie of the month must be based on points alone. Crosby had 1 more point than Ovechkin in the first month of the season. Since then, the Penguins have gone on a tear and Crosby is showing that he indeed does have skills and might be as good as they predicted...maybe. And Crosby is only 18, fresh out of junior hockey. Ovechkin has been playing with pro hockey players in Russia since he was 16. I guess my hatred for the Pens over the years may be affecting my judgment. I recognize Sidney's talent. The kid is real good. I just think, right now, Ovechkin is the best rookie in the game. Hands down. He will get is due. If not, I'll have lots to bitch about.


Today's thought
"Most people with low self-esteem have earned it."
-George Carlin
Napalm and Sillyputty copyright 2001

Next column: Call of the week!