The Power of the Constitution and the Power Rangers

I've been begging my readers for months now to comment on my blog. I've given them instructions; I've told them not to hold back; I've told them that speaking freely is a gift from the constitution... so use it! My blog is the place to practice free speech, all the time. How else do you think I'm able to get away with some of the nonesense I've posted? I've written over 10 posts since the beginning of November, but the most comments I've received for any one of those posts was 6. Until I wrote about my friend who is on "CSI", Archie Kao, former Power Ranger.

Suddenly, I have 11 comments for that post and counting! So, I guess my sports articles are just too intellectual for most of you, huh? (Probably too boring for non-hockey fans and too intellectual for the rest of you. I'll have to look into that.) Maybe I should stick with the celebrity posts and senseless ranting--wait, I thought I was doing that already? This whole blog is an experiment, as I have said before, and I've worked tediously to see how to get people too respond. Wow!

What a response, dear readers! Finally, you all like me! You really do like me! I feel like Julia Roberts, except she has a horse-mouth and thankfully... I don't. Oh, and she's full of herself, which I am not. I am much too cool, intelligent and articulate for that. It can be difficult being smarter and better looking than everyone else, but I do my best to fit in with the rest of you. I truly do. (Holy crap! I'm starting to sound just like my Dad! Someone shoot me!)

I was astounded by the quick responses and flabbergasted as they kept rolling in for days afterwards! I even got comments from people I haven't seen or talked to in years, like Chris Stone, the coolest friend I've ever had. (Your welcome, Boner.) Even my sister Claire got into the act, even though she follows direction like a man and couldn't figure out how to post her comments. (By the way Claire, the point of the Kevin Bacon game is to make the connection in exactly 6 names... not less, not more. Hence the name of the game.) As you can imagine, I got the most heat for taking advice from women from a "Power Ranger". Just for the record, Archie was not a Power Ranger when I knew him. He was Student Council President and Homecoming King at George Mason University. When he offered me advice, I listened.

Thanks to all of you. I'm already looking for less-sports related material to incite the wave of criticism I received earlier this week. Contrary to popular belief, I actually draw positives from criticism and I accept it freely (why are some of you laughing right now?) It inspires me to write more diverse things to get the hackles up on you hyenas. Not to mention, I get paid per hit on this site. So, here's a suggestion: Make this your Home Page! You don't even have to read my rantings to help me out. Thanks! You guys are the best.


Apology of the Week

Recently, I wrote four things about Washingon Sports that looked bad, but were not. My piece on Larry Hughes was crap, I admit that. In case you haven't noticed, basketball is not something I cover much in this space--much to my father's disappointment. I'll be honest, I don't know the game of basketball like I do hockey, baseball or football. It doesn't help that the Wizards are back to their losing ways (as Tony Kornheiser would say, its the "Curse of Les Boulez"). I'm always happy to see the Wizards do well, which hasn't happened very often in my 32 years, and I love to watch Terps basketball and the NCAA Tournament every March. However, I don't have the passion for hoops that would allow me to fake a piece and make it sound like I know what I'm talking about (as you've already seen). I gave it a shot with my take on Hughes leaving the Wizards, but even I admit I have no skill as a basketball analyst. I doubt I will delve into that forum much in the future. I'll stick to what I'm good at, like hockey and boobies.


The Big O Update

Last nite, your Nation's Capitals lost to the Chicago Blackhawks, who had virtually the same record as the Caps going into the game. The Caps fell behind 3-0 by the middle of the 2nd period, and I actually left the room in disgust. The Caps are having a terrible season. The Hawks are as well; they had lost 10 straight going into last night. The Caps gave up 2 fluky goals fell behind and my frustration finally overwhelmed my sense of optimism for the first time all year.

See, this is a rebuilding year for the Caps. We knew it in October, we know it now. The Caps have only a few veterans (Olie Kolzig, Jeff Halpern, Danius Zubrus) and the rest are young, talented players with little or no NHL experience. I do not expect them to win much this year. But 3-0 really pissed me off and I finally started to let the losing get to me. I left the room and started to think about the scathing piece I would write about the "Crapitals" for you all today.

When I checked the game about 10 minutes later, the score was 3-2. Brendan Witt, the least offensive minded defensemen in the league, scored on a wrister from the top of the right-hand face-off circle. That was Witt's first goal of the year and a highlight goal at that! Witt scores less than Carlton from "The Fresh Prince". He only averages about 1 goal a year. Last night he looked like Paul Coffey.

Alex Ovechkin scored the second goal for the Caps, in dramatic style. He shot the puck from right in front of the net, chased the rebound into the corner, stole the puck from a Chicago defensemen, got checked into the boards, held on to the puck, muscled his way past said defensemen, skated around another one and beat Hawks goalie Adam Monro five-hole (between the legs, for all of you unfamiliar with hockey terminology). That kid is awesome.

Alas, even though the Caps tied the game on a goal by Brian Sutherby (one of the emerging young players on the team, pictured above) they lost in overtime 4-3. But, after watching the rest of the game, I realized that this Caps team may be bad... but they are scrappy. They do not have loads of talent, but they never give up. Coach Glen Hanlon has done a great job coaching these guys and has been mentioned around the hockey world as a good coach who is patient enough to teach his players as they grow into professionals. Some nights, you can see that the Caps young players get it, and some nights you can see that they don't. Either way, they usually don't give up. Plus, with Ovechkin on the team, they sure are fun to watch. Win or lose. I just hope they start winning more often the second half of the season. You can only survive on potential for so long.


"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then go find somone who's life has given them vodka, and have a party."

Ron White, Blue Collar Comedy Tour