Mystery Solved! T.G.I.H.S.

Thanks to my Jewish friend Jenn Hann who decoded the Sanskrit license plate from the previous post. Apparently, the name of the hill where the crucifixion took place was called Calvary. In addition to that, IMABONG actually means "I am a Born Again Christian". Born Agains refer to themselves as being " a born again" or something like that. So the guy I saw was not a dope head, but rather a Jesus Lover.

As I never regularly attended church and only went to Sunday school once with Alicia Burton when I was 6, I am still in the dark about a lot of religious trivia fun facts. Thanks to all the good Christians I asked when researching what Calvary meant. You really didn't know what it was? Thank God I have friends like Jenn who knows more about Christianity than most Christians do. As she told me when I asked her how she new what the license plate and frame meant, she replied, " Well, I guess there is a good reason why we are God's chosen people." Here here! Mazeltof! La'Chiam!

Thank God It's Hockey Season

So, yesterday the Redskins laid a big fat egg in Cinci and my fantasy football team dropped an unbelievable 64 total points in the league semi-final game to lead Mike Chase by 1 before the game tonight. Mike has Brian Westbrook playing tonight. I guess I can hope Westbrook fumbles the ball on the opening play and breaks his leg so I can advance to the finals. Football is over for me this year. To see it come to such an abrupt and painful end...

I can now direct my full attention to the best team in town and stop rooting for pretenders.

Go Caps!!

The All-Shire Team : Updated

Well, if you haven't heard what Sean Avery (d**kweed) of the Dallas Stars said last week about ex Eliza Cuthbert (hot) dating Dion Phanuof (doofus) of the Calgary Flames, then you must have been under a rock or something. The NHL suspended Avery for 6 games and is requiring him to attend anger management classes, all just because he said that other hockey players like his sloppy seconds. (Cuthbert has reportedly dated up to 6 hockey players in the past few years. She is apparently an Alyssa Milano wanna-be, which I don't think is all that bad. Makes you want to run out and buy pads, gloves and a stick, doesn't it?) I think Avery's suspension is a bit ridiculous, if you ask me, but the situation does make a good case to add him to the All-Hobbit team. And, there is another change to the team after I gave it some thought and Drew concurred.

Left Wing Sean Avery: aka Sam-Wise Avery Well, you know about the comments last week. He's also 5'10" which just meets the height requirements to qualify as a Hobbit. Controversial, large ego and a mouth to boot. Wouldn't want to meet him in a dark alley while on a date with Cuthbert. He should be Captain of the All-Shire team. For that honor, I will wave his suspension.

Right Wing Martin St. Louis: aka Smigel Once I thought about it, I had to change his name from Bilbo to Smigel. Smigel fits so much better. Bilbo as a name was too forced and Smigel works on so many levels. St. Louis has fallen from glory after the Bolts won the Cup 5 years ago and he led the league in scoring. The team has been terrible every since. Not even The Mullet could save them. You can just picture St. Louis walking around, talking to himself, ready to take out Vinny Lecavailier if it will reunite him with his obsession, the Stanley Cup, or as he refers to it while alone in the a dark locker room, "myyy preeeciiioooussssss!"

The Great License Plate Mystery

Happy Holidays everyone! (Not to sound ignorant, but is it okay to say that to atheists?) I was driving on the Eastern Shore of Maryland today and I saw something that made my mind short-curcuit. ZZZZZZZZTTTT! (Insert you own "John's brain does that all the time" joke here.) It wasn't a man driving a pickup truck with a live chicken on his lap, who hasn't seen that? Nor did I see some idiot from Pennsylvania or New Jersey driving like a total imbecile, again, who hasn't? What I saw was a man driving a mini van with a license plate frame that read: "Jesus went to Calvary", or something to that effect. Not sure what that meant or if I had read the wording correctly. I didn't get a second look because the next thing that grabbed my attention was the license plate, which read simply: "IMABONG".

The literature quickly zoomed north on 301 as I took the 50 east exit, more than a little perplexed. Jesus was into horses and the chronic? I know he was a carpenter who wore hemp. I called my brother and my best friend to see what they thought. Both, like myself, were a bit mystified. Perhaps this guy was a former hippie that had found Jesus. You know, "Doobies for the Divine", or "Joints for Jesus" or something along those lines. I re-read the license plate in my mind just to make sure I was interpreting the message correctly. It seemed pretty straight forward to me. I wasn't like some of the other personalized plates you see out there. You know the ones I mean. "SUX2BU" or "ZO86XWO". Ones that cause you to rear-end the idiot who you are following as you attempt to decipher the Incan text on his bumper that some inmate serving 6 to 10 in the pokey hammered out, undoubtedly wearing the same look you have on your face when you hand the police officer your insurance information.

License plate decoding has grown more frustrating over the years, especially in the Commonwealth of Virginia, where it costs extra to not have your license plate personalized. Simply known as the Pretentious Asshole Act of 1989, Virginia requires all drivers to come up with a saying that can be spelled out using any combination of up to 7 letters and/or numbers. The monogrammed twaddle knows no socioeconomic boundaries; you are just as likely to find a personalized plate on an '88 Geo Metro as you are of seeing one on a Mercedes 300SL. However, the man in the minivan was not, I repeat, not from Virginia. Hmmm... The mystery deepens.

I wonder if anyone has done a study that shows monogrammed licensed plates create dangerous driving conditions by increasing traffic congestion exponentially? Actually, I think just by typing the above line I conducted that very study and proved it to be true. Don't believe me? I attended George Mason University for two semesters in 1991-92. I knew 17 people in my immediate circle of friends that were a.) from Virginia and b.) had monogrammed license plates. Throw in the other 17,000 students at the mostly commuter school of 22,000 that had personalized plates and that makes it a clear majority. Traffic was horrendous back then. Now, traffic in Northern Virginia is beyond ghastly. Traffic is so bad that atheists are praying for mass transit.

Which brings me back to the supposed human hooka. Unless he was referring to himself as the sound made when one strikes a gong or was driving his daughter's van while she is home for the Holidays, oblivious to what the license plate suggested about his identity as a glass water pipe used for smoking various forms of licit and illicit drugs, I am at a loss. It keeps eating away at me, much like the drugs this guy is apparently doing. I have to be missing something, right? Jesus and bong on the same car, much less the same license plate, seems more than a bit strange. Was there a hidden meaning I'm missing altogether? Was it some special code that only followers of a certain cult can decode, therefore possessing the secret for eternal life by pulling tubes and going to the track? And, perhaps most important of all, does this guy know where I can get some good stuff?

I know this is America and all, the land of freedom and liberty. I realize that our rights are compromised regularly when we should be fighting to protect them, but perhaps in order to ensure a more perfect driving experience and establish safer highways, we should take away the right to put personalize license plates on our cars. Surely, one could understand that the suspension of the 1st Amendment of the Constitution of the United States of America for personal safety on America's roadways is more important than religious freedom and freedom of speech. Plus, I won't have to live with the mystery of what the hell Mr. Bong's plate meant. Monogrammed plates are an evil that need to be dealt with; it is a problem that has been ignored for far to long. We need to act now before more Christians for the Chronic accuse our lord and Savior of being a stoner, or before atheists begin riding around with license plates that read "_________ ".

Godzilla, Hobbits and What Real Woman Want

Monday November 10th was a bitter sweet day for Cap Fans. The Caps won led 3-0 after the first, Ovie broke his 9 game goal less drought with a 3rd period tally and they manhandled the Lightning 4-2. The Caps did not give up a goal on the first shot of the game for once and Brent Johnson was stellar in net yet again. However, the bitter part was seeing Olie Kolzig dressed in the silver, black, blue, purple and mullet colors of Tampa Bay. This was not how we all envisioned Godzilla's tenure in DC ending, I am sure, wearing the uniform of a division rival. But that is indeed what has taken place and many of us at the game wrestled with conflicting emotions we have never felt before.

I was nervous before the game, as were many of the fans I saw Monday as my wife and I found our seats and waited for the puck to drop. I have seen athletes come and go over the years, but this was different. I have never seen the former face of a DC franchise play on the opposite side after meaning so much to the city, the organ-eye-zation, and the fans. Watching Kolzig in the away white was disturbing and sad. It was like seeing Darrel Green in a Giants or (gag) Cowboy uniform. The closest thing we have experienced around here that I can equate it to would be Mike Mussina playing for the Yankees. But Mussina left on his own to join a winner. Olie was pushed aside and he left because he was no longer wanted.

Godzilla was supposed to hoist the Cup here and then retire as a life-long Capital. He was the guy that asked not to be traded, who wanted to stay after the fire sale in 04. He signed a two year extention for less money to stay here during the rebuilding of 05-07. The same guy who bleed every colors the Caps have ever worn. Management didn't even have the heart to show Olie the doorafter last season, so they left him hanging and ultimately gave him no choice but to leave on his own. Someone with Olie's class and professionalism deserved more after being with the franchise since he was 18 years old. He holds virtually every goal tending record in Washington. This was how we repaid him?

Watching the Caps go up 3-0 was hard to watch. I mean, I loved that we didn't give up a goal on the first shot of the first period. I love when the young guys contribute. (Eric Fehr's one-timer was a thing of beauty.) But watching Olie fall behind was painful for a lot of us in the arena. I was upset watching him give up three first period goals and then I realized that the Caps were still winning. Huh? That couldn't right. Check the scoreboard again. Oh, right. He doesn't play for us anymore. What?

The crowd stood and cheered when management showed a video tribute to #37 and all he accomplished in Washington. He looked like he tried to ignore it for the first 20 seconds, but eventually looked up at the Jumbotron before waving his stick in the air when he skated back out to the goal. It was hard to make sense of it all; our long stalwart in the wrong net, taking orders from "The Mullet" instead of Gabby. I was emotional, as were many of us, but I did not cry. (Shocker! I bet 2-1 I would sob like a baby.) But after awhile, we fell into the normal routine. Olie became the other teams netminder for the rest of the game. He settled down and played well after the tribute, as if remembering how great he has played in this building and finding the old rhythm. Caps win! Olie loses. I don't know if I can get used to that or not.

There will come a day when I take my kids to the Verizon Center and teach them the game of hockey. Teach them the rules, the positions, the players names. I will instruct them when to cheer and when to clap, who Horn-Guy and Goat are and the words to "The Hockey Song". Eventually, they will ask me about the numbers hanging in the rafters and what they mean. It will be with great pride that after I tell them about Labre, Gartner, Hunter and Langway, I will explain that Olie Kolzig was the greatest goalie to ever play hockey in Washington. I will tell them that he was the Washington Capitals and no one else who ever has put on the uniform has garnered more respect, love and admiration than #37. I hope I can tell them that I was there, with tears in my eyes, the day they hung his number high above the ice.

Seen at Verizon Center

While walking the concourse looking for a concession stand that sells veggie burgers, we passed a woman with a sign that said:

"Real Women Love Semin!"

Classic...

Face off in the Shire

My brother and I act like we are perpetually 12 years old. We find many things to laugh at that most people do not. However, Drew and I have stumbled onto a subject many of you may find amusing. That would be short hockey players. There are few in the league under the normal six foot mark that are damn good. But there are some who are damn good that we can not stand. This hatred took on a life of its own that eventually bore fruit during Monday's Caps/Lightning game.

See, last year during the Caps/Flyers playoff series, Drew expressed his disdain for Daniel Briere of the Flyers. I concurred. We started to make fun of him until Drew called him, "Daniel Baggins", and a "hobbit" because of Briere's smaller stature. (He's generously listed at 5'10"). After watching the Caps beat Olie and the Bolts, I realized how much I hate Martin St. Louis. Then came the idea:

Introducing the All Hobbit Line!

The rules are they have to be under 5'10" and they have to be dicks.

Center: Daniel Briere (aka Daniel Baggins, 5'10" 179) - He plays for the Flyers, cries like a little baby and still hasn't gotten over a boarding call from Ovechkin back in Decmeber of 06. Briere fits right in up in "The City of Brotherly Shove", with all of the other Vince Paple wanna-bes. Talk about Napolean complex, I think the whole city has one because they aren't New York. Hey Baggins, go back to the Shire!

Right Wing: Martin St Louis (aka Bilbo St. Louis 5'9" 177) - He plays for Tampa, has never regained his form from the one good season he had when the Lightning won the Cup in 04. Bil-blow is prone to whining because he realizes he is overrated. How can a team with all this talent and "The Mullet" behind the bench be this bad?

Left Wing: Derek Roy (aka Frodo Roy 5'9" 188) - He plays for Lindey Ruff in Buffalo, which Drew says automatically makes him a dick. Like his coach, he likes to complain when things take a turn for the worse. He took Daniel Baggins place in Buffalo after Briere left the Shire. Frodo doesn't even pronounce his name the French-Canadian way, which makes him a poser.

Honorable Mention:
-Steve Sullivan 5'8" 165 - plays for Nashville. We seem to remember hearing he is a jerk but can not verify.
-Sergei Samsonov 5'8 188 - Supposed to be good, but he sucks. Don't know if whines. Apparently he has no emotions what so ever. No passion either. Good candidate for the "All Vulcan" Team
-Nigel Dawes 5'9 193 - His name is Nigel, for christsake! Do I need to say any more? Nigel just reeks of some pale, stuck up Brit whining about how they let us win the Revolution. Dawes isn't British, but his parents apparently didn't get the memo on that one.

If you have a nomination for The All Shire team, in any sport, do not hesiate to email me or leave your comment. We appreciate your participation!

Rain, Feathers and the Jovian System

Does it always rain on Election Day in November or is it just me? Every general election I can remember, except '92, seems like it was raining. I used to hope the rain symbolized the washing away of the previous administrations gaffs and bad blood to make way for a new administration full of hope and promise. Deep inside, there is the hope that the rain is the result of the collective dismay and angst of the soon to be loser (preferably Republican) that has manifested itself in an act of nature. Of course, the realist in me--that part of me that is slowly taking over the innocent, optimistic idealist I have been all my life and turning me into a Ryan Harbaughesque curmudgeon--thinks it always rains the first Tuesday in November. Sure, the colors of fall are beautiful, but the trade off is the cold and rain. If McCain wins today, even the bright foliage of mid autumn will not be able to brighten the millions of souls that are hoping for a change, and praying not for 4 more years of the same old, same old.

I wish I could say something to inspire and rouse the passions of the 60% of the country who are not voting today. I have to say, it really pisses me off that these so called Americans can take their freedom, their liberty and good fortune for granted like this every two to four years. There are over 6 billion human beings on Planet Earth. Less than half of them have the right to choose their future leaders. Less than half get to join together and force change, make the world a better place and oust ineffective leaders that squander resources for personal gain and prestige. I would say that to the 100 odd million of Americans that sit on there backsides and complain about the state of the world and do nothing about it, but I will not. I have said it before, as have so many others. My energies are more valuable in other places.

If Sarah Palin ends up as President of the United States, I will build my own rocket ship and move to Europa. There is water there, you know. And Ice. I can grow potatos and humongous eggplants and zucchini in my orbital greenhouse, distill my own vodka, mix my own martinis and watch the Earth explode from afar, while having sex in zero-g with my beautiful wife. I can not imagine a more tranquil place than the Jovian system. Sure, the radiation most likely would fry my insides, the multiple asteroids in orbit could pulverize my space station or aqua-hab and who knows what kind of other dangers could await in the outer solar system. But I think I will take my chances in high Juipter orbit rather than watch the look on President Palin's face when she realizes that there are other countries on Earth, other than Russia, that she can't see from her back porch.

Why all of the republicans I have talked to this election year keep there heads in the sand about the GOP ticket's ineptitude is beyond me. We are one more McCain melanoma away from the Book-Burning-Beauty-Queen's first State of the Union address. Why doesn't that scare the living-you-know-what out of more people? I will tell you why, because so many people in this country are sheep. They will believe whatever they are told. That's how the majority of the politicians in this great land of ours are elected. I now await with ever growing wonder for the official announcement that the Republicans have changed their party mascot from the elephant to the ostrich.

Skiing Down the Triple Black Diamond of Wall Street

An interesting thing happened back in the beginning of September, just a few short weeks ago. After years of hemming and hawing, I finally took the plunge and invested money in the stock market. I had been reticent for years to get in for fear of losing my ass. I don't know much of anything about the market. I never took a class, never found the Wall Street Journal interesting, didn't really take a liking to the movie "Wall Street", didn't raise Gordon Gecko up as a messiah of monetary proportions. I was more of a "spender" than a saver. I was content with a savings account and didn't feel the need to throw my hard earned cash into something that could fluctuate everyday. I have always been a "live for the moment" kind of person.

So in early September, with a new wife and a new house and my sales at work screeching to a sudden halt, I decided that this would be a good time to jump into the market. Stocks had been falling slowly for months, new interest rate cuts were supposed to help the economy grow. I knew getting into the market on a down swing would give me the best opportunity to get rich faster, or at least pad my non-existent retirement fund. Surely early September was a good time to put a little in and hope I bought the next Google or youtube.

You see, I was always a late bloomer. I am a Taurus, and by nature, I am stubborn, thoughtful and wait oh so long to pull the trigger on my ideas. I watched all my friends and co-workers over the past 15 years dump mega-bucks into mutual funds and IRAs and commodities. I did not do that. I had a mutual fund once. I put in about 5 grand over two years. I closed that account in 2005, paid the penalty and walked away. It took too much time, I thought. I would much rather put my money into a savings account. I was berated for being so short sighted. The Market! That's where the money is!

So, here I was, putting quite a bit less than $4000.00 into the market in early September because I had a "feeling". My gut and brain converged on a single point in time. I felt that now was the time. I invested in alternative energy stocks, mostly, with a few standards to keep me honest--Toyota, Apple, Chevron and Exxon(hey, people still buy gas, right? Nothing wrong with buying stocks you think might be around for a decade or four.) I thought I was ahead of the curve, especially when the market began to collapse and I lost approximately $25 the first week and was actually up $67 at the end of week two. I explained to everyone that would listen that I was invincible. I had stumbled into a surefire money maker by accident, or my pyschic intuition. I invested in mostly alternative energy companies that had just received massive tax breaks to pump money into their businesses and into the market as well. I was a fucking genius! Take that, you Harvard educated suits! I, John Murray, who never read an Economics textbook or took a marketing class, was making you look bad! All Hail Me!

So after the market closed just above 8000 points on Friday October 10, 2008, approximately one month after I got in and after I had lost about a third of what I had invested initially just a few short weeks ago, I am no longer talking about how smart I am. I am just praying that my initial investment isn't depleted when the market rebounds, which is shaping up to be right around the time the Anti-Christ comes to power. I am hoping that Toyota keeps making hybrids, solar energy and US Gold hit their stride and I make it start rolling in the dough. Yeah, and I am also waiting for monkeys to fly out of my ass.

My father has always been mentioned as someone who has had incredible luck. Buying land at the exact right time, getting the right deal on the right car at the right time, beating cancer not once, but twice to continue on in this crazy world, just to name a few. "Lucky Murray", they call him. If you know him, you have a "Lucky Murray" story or two, I'm sure. I thought I had a portion of that same luck in me these past few years. You know, meeting my wife, being around for my step-mom and father when he first got sick, falling into a good kb with great people (I almost went to work with Ameriprise...shudder!), writing that horrible manuscript I had always dreamed of writing back in November 2006, which just so happened to be National Novel Writing Month, unbeknown st to me. I have been trying to fit this market craziness into the "Lucky Murray" file and had trouble at first. How can losing more than a third of my investment--no matter how small--be considered lucky? How can my feeling that I should get into the market when I did be described as a nothing more than a terrible choice and extremely bad timing? "Lucky" is my dad. Me, not so much, right?

The glass is perpetually half full in my world, and as long as I can fight the urge to drink it, my mind never deviates from that outlook. I always try and find the silver lining, roll with the punches and stay positive. (Of course, being properly medicated always helps.) The following is ultimately what I have learned, what I will take away from the past four weeks of market mayhem (with the recognition that this whole thing ain't over yet):

1. I will never have learned as much about investing as I have in the past few weeks, while the experts run around frantically to try and right the ship and my egg gets splattered all over the US, Europe and Asia.

2. That a savings account, although small potatoes, is basically no risk and all reward.

3. That if the market rebounds before my investment reaches $0.00, I am in a great position to reap the benefits of a bear market.

4. At least I did not put everything I had into an investment system that is never a guarantee, a system that has seen unprecedented growth over the past 15 years, a system that was due for a major league correction,

5. That I, very probably, could have been left standing with nothing what so ever if had bet it all on green.

Changing Up the Line Combinations

Hello to all of my new readers from Facebook! After my wife and best friend bitched and whined at for not getting on Facebook, I finally opened an account and jumped feet first (holding my nose like a first grader, no less) into the 21st century. Now, Julia can not get me off my Facebook page fore I have become addicted. (I kept telling her and Ryan this would happen, but did anyone listen? Of course not.)

In honor of my foray into Facebook , I have decided to pull the trigger on revamping my blog and bring this space into the new century as well. It's been a long time coming, as many of you loyal readers already know. I love sports and wrote exclusively about that subject off and on over the past three years. But after I got married, started a new career and started remodeling our house--a never-ending undertaking, for those of you who have yet to make that mistake--I visited this space less and less. When I did venture onto the blogosphere, I was too distracted, overly critical or down right uninterested in saying anything worth sharing.

Although I will still touch on the issue of sports from time to time (when I feel like it, basically) I figure I would just write for your entertainment. That's right, for you, loyal reader! About topics and subject matter that I think is relevant, interesting and life altering. (Okay, I will still be writing about what I want. Its my blog. Sue me.) Don't be surprised to find some political issues touched on from time to time. After all, I like to think I have tried to make the world a better place over my 35 years and Lord knows Republicans out there need a good slap in the face. Why should I not be the one to build bridges?

So without further ado, here it goes. The grand unveiling of the new web page that I have spent...what time is it?...24 minutes overhauling. I hope you enjoy, and I thank you.

Sweet Spring No Matter What

Well, I have held off writing since the Caps went on their late season run to sneak into the playoffs. I started to write a piece on how sweet it was to finish first in the division...about how the grass was greener that next day. I never went back to it because i knew that the season wasn't over and i would keep those memories to myself and prepare for the playoffs. We Cap fans have waited for so long to have a team that showed as much heart as this years Capitals did. The whole town was grabbed and sucked into the hypnotic trance of playoff hockey, and we were rewarded!

Two over time games, one double overtime. The Caps battled back from a 3-1 deficit to force a game seven. Game seven goes into overtime and you knew it would take a lucky bounce to win it. We all prayed it would be the Caps to have that luck on their side.

But, if you are a life-long Cap fan like me, you just know that we don't get that luck. We never have, save for three times in the past 33 years. Like Dale Hunters OT goal to beat the Flyers in seven back in 88. Or John Druce turning into Brett Hull and carrying us to the conference finals in 90-91. And of course, the 98 season when we went all the way to the Cup Finals and got swept by the Red Wings. This year seemed like it held the promise of a good luck blessing, when the hockey gods would smile down upon us and grant us a hard fought win over the hated Flyers.

So, here we sit, perplexed because the NHL did not make sure that the Caps advanced so we could play the Penguins and set up the ratings blockbuster of Ovechkin vs. Crosby. We sit here perplexed that the penalty calls could be so drastically one sided and unfair at times, leaning heavily the way of the Flyers. We sit here dumbfounded and hurt, our spirits crushed, our hope that seemed so high and that we felt that it was going to be a new dawn here for hockey. That it was finally our time to rise up and be the up and coming team that team management and the experts thought we would be.

Hey, lets look at the bright side. Ovechkin, Green, Backstrom, Semin and the rest of the young guys never backed down and got a crash course in what playoff hockey means. Remember, Gretzky and Lemuiex didn't get past the first round the first tie they were in the playoffs. Next year, we get to see if this was all for real and see what this team, with head coach-stud Bruce Boudreau. Boudreau helped make this team believe in itself and they never looked back. I salivate at the possibilities in the future for this hockey team.

What I look forward to the most is watching Alex Ovechkin continue to get better and prove that he is the best player in the league, the world! People all over saw that this season to a degree, but everyone is still ga-ga over Sidney Crosby. At least we know the NHL isn't fixed or the Caps and Pens would be squaring off in the next few days instead of the Flyers and Pens. Ovechkin will have to stew over that all summer. He's one of those guys that if you piss him off, he makes you pay.

Ovie has to wait until October to take out his frustration. The frustration of not playing up to his standards, the frustration of not advancing past the first round. The frustration of feeling like he let his team mates and the fans down, which of course is ludicrous. He did nothing of the sort. In fact, he has given us a brief yet shining glimpse of the kind of future this town may have when it comes to hockey. I bet Ovechkin is up to the task. Perhaps next year he can put to rest any question about who is better. Hopefully next year everyone will stop gushing about the greatness of Sid the Kid and start recognizing Alex, the man.

George McPhee stars in "The Dealer"

Wow, what a day, right Cap fans? It's 9:55pm and the smoke has cleared on Trade Deadline Day and for the first time in over 5 years the Caps weren't selling, they were most definitely buying! Okay, in case you live in Alabama or something, here's what transpired today:

--The Caps acquired veteran Goalie Cristobal Huet from the Canadians for the second round pick in the 2009 they had acquired when they traded Brian Sutherby to the Ducks last fall.

--They traded Ted Ruth, a 19 year old D-man drafted in the second round in 07 (currently playing for Notre Dame) to Columbus for center Sergei Federov.

--They traded winger Matt Pettinger to Vancouver in return for winger Matt Cooke, a feisty "agitator" according to all of the experts I read and heard today.

--The Caps finished their day by trading career minor leaguer Joe Motzko to Atlanta for Alex Giroux.

This is where I planned on complaining about how George McPhee never makes a significant trade unless he is unloading players, like during the '04, 06' and 07' seasons. However, "The Undertaker" scored some serious points with not only myself but with the majority of the hockey world today by adding to a young, exciting and up-and-coming hockey club without subtracting much of anything. He still didn't pull off a blockbuster, but he didn't need to.

So what does this all mean? Huet becomes one of three goalies on the roster, a rarity in hockey. I fully expected to hear that Olie Kolzig or back-up Brent Johnson had been traded, but that is not the case. It is a weird and perhaps risky situation, but with less than stellar netminding in the last month or so, getting Huet not only gets a younger, virtual #1 goalie in the building, but might be the motivation required to get the other goalies to tighten up and show the young guys on the team that its time to go for the playoffs. Plus, Huet comes very cheap, for the afore-mentioned 2nd rounder, and is an unrestricted free agent after the season, as is Kolzig. Godzilla is 38 in April. The Caps have some young goalie studs in their system that need a few years to be ready and Huet might very well be the guy to bridge the gap until Simeon Varlamov or Michel Neuvirth (both 19 and playing in Europe) are ready for the big time.

As for Federov, 15 years ago it would have been unheard of that Federov would come here. But here he is, with his 1,133 career points and three Stanley Cup rings. The Caps were in desperate need of a play making center once they lost Michal Nylander early this year. They lacked depth and skill and even though Federov is 38, he still has upside and is a UFA after this year. The power play needs his help, and he would allow Viktor Kozlov to go back to the 1st line with Ovie and Backstrom, creating balance.

The Caps beat the Wild Tuesday night 4-1. Brooks Laich scored a career high 4 points, Eric Fehr had a goal and an assist and Tomas Fleichman had two assists. That line of Laich, Fehr and Flash dominated from the opening face off. Laich seems like he may be breaking thru from gritty forward with scoring touch to a true scoring center. He had already scored a career high in goals and points this year before Tuesday night. Fehr is rounding into shape and Flash...well, I say the jury is still out. He is inconsistent, mostly, but is showing "flashes" of being more than a guy always a step behind the play, ala Todd Krygier.

Now, the swapping of Matt's seems like a good trade to me and its my favorite out of all the trades in the whole league. The loss of Pettinger is a shame, I always like Petty, but he's a goal scorer. However he had only two goals this year and has played terribly. He is from Vancouver, so maybe the change of scenery will rejuvenate him. I keep hearing what a pest and what an "Agitator" Matt Cooke is and this is why I like this trade. Ever since Dale Hunter retired, the Caps haven't had that guy who gets under the skin of the other team, gets them off their game and makes them take dumb penalties since Hunts reired. Cooke apparently will fill the void, and I think in order to win, you need a guy like that.

The other trade was Joe Motzko for Alex Giroux. Giroux is a career AHLer that scores a ton. He played for the Caps farm system a few years ago and this deal was strictly for minor league depth.

All in all a pretty cool day. Thanks for following along, if anyone did. The Caps kept most of their draft picks, all of their core players, all of their prospects and have three capable goaltenders. After they whipped the Wild into submission following all of the trades and without any of the guys they traded for, it puts a little bounce in your step to think that the rebuilding is probably over and this season may end with the Caps in the playoffs. Imagine how good Ovie will be under that spotlight!

NHL Trade Deadline Extravaganza!

12:58pm... I had not planned on blogging until after the deadline, but since the Caps are already making noise and some other names we all know fairly well are involved in trades so far, I figure I will blog as long as I get new info and have the time.

The Caps traded their 2nd round pick from 2009 to Montreal for Cristobal Huet, a French Born number one goalie. Now they have three goalies, Huet, Olie Kolzig and Brent Johnson. That means someone is going elsewhere. Since Kolzig is a free agent at the end of the year and he is 37, unfortunately it probably means he is heading out of town. Kolzig didn't take part in the morning skate--which he usually does not when he is scheduled to start--but since Johnson is clearly the number two goalie on the team, it might make you wonder if something is up. Kolzig is three wins shy of 300.

The second round pick in 2009 came from Anaheim in the Brain Sutherby trade, so we basically traded a 4th line checking center for a number one goaltender. Not bad.

1:05pm ... Jeff Halpern was part of the Brad Richards trade. Richards and goalie Johan Holmquist go from Tampa to Dallas and Jussi Jokinen, goalie Mike Smith and Halpern go to The Bolts. I have to admit I laughed when I saw this, since Halpern went to Dallas because Ulf Dahlen is an assistant coach there, the two are good freinds and Halpern wanted to win. I bet he gets booed harshly when he makes his next appearance at Verizon Center.

1:19pm... ESPN.com is reporting that Sergei Federov might be headed to Washington. Huh?! Him and Ovechkin together would be a site to see, back when Federov was healthy and banging Anna Kournikova. That was like 12 years ago!

1:28pm... OK, washingtonpost.com and the Hockey News are confirming that Columbus traded Federov to the Caps for Defensemen Ted Ruth. Who the hell is that you ask? A 6'1", 19 year old American that we drafted in the second round last summer. I'm looking for more about him, but I don't remember hearing to much about him in the past. Federov is a UFA in the summer, so this doens't cost us any money. I will try and find out how good he is.

1:35pm... Tarik-El Bashir said in Capitals INsider on www.washingtonpost.com that not only did Kolzig not take part in the morning skate, but Brent Johnson had already left the building. Kolzig doesn't skate in practice on game days, but who is in goal if Johnson isn't there either? The plot thickens.

1:42pm... Ted Ruth was not rated one of the top ten prospects in the Caps Farm System, so reports "The Hockey News". So, we gave up nothing for a playmaking center in Federov to replace Michel Nylander. He can only help the power play. "The Hockey News" says that the addition of Huet basically guarantees us the Southeast Title. Huet played for Boudreau in the minors in the Kings organ-eye-zation, so there is a realtionship there. Interesting...

1:56pm... Scott Burnside of espn.com is reporting that the Caps also have added agitator Matt Cooke from Vancouver for Matt Pettinger. Haha! I told you Drew! I like Petty, but he was awful this year and we need someone to light a fire under us and pester the other team into bad penalties, ala Dale Hunter. I was thinking we might go for Michel Peca, but apparently Matt Cooke is the guy. Doesn't score more than 10 or 12 goals a year, 60 plus PIMs (had 111 PIMs in 2001) and since Clark is still hurt and Pettinger was a nonfactor all season, this looks like a good deal. Not too mention that Pettinger is from Vancouver. Maybe a change will help him out. Wow, I was already planning my "Fire McPhee because he nevers pulls the trigger unless its a firesale" blog, but I guess I have to blow that up and start over, eh?

3:02pm... It's after the deadline and we still have three goalies. Stay tuned for one of our guys to go; the paperwork is still probably going thru. Every year there are numerous trades that aren't announced until after the deadline expires. Paperwork and what not. Have Mike Chase explain it if you don't understand. I will be on later tonight to analyze all of today's movement, but I have three appointments now and have to run. Thanks for joining me and check back later.

The Curse Continues

See!? I told you all that I was a Jinx! The Fucking Giants won the Super Bowl?!?!?!?!?! You have got to be kidding me?! The Fucking Giants?! Yes, I said the "Fucking Giants". I know I supposedly retired the "F" word from this blog a few years ago, but after what I witnessed Sunday Night, I need to pull it out for today.

I can not believe that the Patriots played so poorly. I can not believe that the Giants defense played so well! I can't believe Eli Manning won a freaking Super Bowl! I can stand the fact that New York has another championship and now we all we have to listen to it for the next year. I can hear it now, those Yankee/Giant fans who will say that this was pay back to the New England region for the Yankees losing to the Red Sox in '04. I am so sick of Boston and New York right now because...well because I live in DC and right now, we got Alex Ovechkin and that's it!

Perhaps the worst thing about Eli and the Giants winning the Super Bowl is all the new conspiracy theories that are sure to grow legs and run roughshod over all of us. All year long I heard from some people who shall remain nameless (my sister Meg) that the NFL was at the head of a conspiracy to ensure the Patriots would go undefeated. It was said that was why Spygate was covered up. The league wanted the financial windfall that would certainly come from a team going undefeated and winning the Super Bowl. Having the Patriots play New York only ensured that even more people would be watching, boosting ratings and revenue to record levels.

Now, we know that was not the conspiracy at all. That was all a smoke screen for the real conspiracy, to get the other Manning a Super Bowl Ring. Oh they fooled us! We all were so focused on the Patriots and Brady's boot that we didn't see this coming! I'm sure this is only the beginning. Within the next year or so, we will see the all Manning Super Bowl. Imagine that! Two brothers, each with a championship, battling it out for favorite son! Now that's good drama! And to think my jinx has helped facilitate all of this chaos. I should be ashamed!

Oh, the Jinx of John Murray is worse than I thought. The Curse of Les Boulez has got nothing on me. I can't believe what has happened since my last post, other than the aforementioned Super Bowl. Here's a rundown:

-The Caps beat the Canadians last Thursday to revenge their 4-0 butt-whooping from last Tuesday. Ovie scored 4 goals, one the game winner in overtime. I thought my jinx was a bunch of hooey. Of course, I had to push my luck and I decided to go to the Caps/Thrashers game at Verizon Center Saturday night. Caps lost 2-0 after outshooting Atlanta 36 to 13! I sat behind the penalty box and still didn't get on TV. I am jinxed.

-The Wizards have not won a game since before my last post. The got walloped by the Lakers and Kobe Sunday. The score doesn't matter. The Lakers killed the 'Zards.
(And did you see that the Lakers traded Kwame "I want my Mommy" Brown for Paul Gasol last week? So the Lakers are going to be real real good again? Sounds like a curse to me.)

-The Redskins are still searching for a head coach, with Giants Defensive coordinator Steve Spagnuolo set to interview on Tuesday. So, let me get this straight: we might hire a division rival's coordinator, after they win the Super Bowl, to be our new head coach after Joe Gibbs retires? Yeah, that sounds like a great idea, don't you think? Because it worked out so well for us the last time.

-Eric Bedard has yet to be traded from the Orioles to the Mariners. Reports say the Orioles are holding it up over rules on player physicals and that they are afraid of getting burned by trading for damaged goods. Also, the Orioles are mad at Adam Jones (the central figure in the deal for Bedard) for telling Venezuelan reporters that he was being traded to Baltimore. First of all, the O's are mad that a guy was excited about coming to Baltimore? So mad that they put the deal on hold and canceled his physical? They are gun shy about a trade because they want assurances that if a player fails his physical they will be able to void the deal? Isn't that what everyone does in baseball, sign off on a trade pending a physical? It just keeps getting weirder and weirder up there in Charm City, hun. The Frog Faced Barrister still wields more of a curse than I do when it comes to the Orioles, but I'm sure I am not helping.

Okay, so the Terps won. I don't have anything on that. Since I have never been to a Maryland basketball game, perhaps my jinx does not extend to them. But, I did not watch the game this weekend so perhaps that was their saving grace.

So what do we do now that my jinx has started to pick up speed and we all may be in grave danger. After losing sleep over this for the past few nights, I might have finally come up with a solution; perhaps this evil power I have acquired can be used for good.

If you have some serious money on a game, tell me who you want to lose and I will root them on! Say you hate the guy in the cubicle next to you because he never stops bragging about his team. No problem, call me and I will cheer for his team so they lose! Or maybe you hate a player on some team because he dissed your team/city/etc. No problem. One game with me being his fan and he's done for. Perhaps that is the only way to stave off Armageddon. You all have to agree that something must be done soon. If not, I fear that things will spiral out of control exponentially and before you know it, the Fucking Rangers will win the Stanley Cup.

Spoke Too Soon?

I finally started to get back into the swing of things last week and updated my blog, much to the disappointment of a dozen or so of you. After evaluating the piece I wrote and what has happened since then, I regret to inform you all that I do not know what I am talking about. Also, I am a jinx. Bad luck. I'm a cracked mirror in a locker room or a black cat crossing the path of an upstart team, cursing them with whatever dark power I posses; a power I cannot control. I should be shunned, silenced and given a dirt nap for the good of all sports teams and players I align my loyalties to.

Since I went on record last week stating how the Caps were up and comers, leaving behind their horrid start to climb back into contention in the Eastern Conference, they have lost two of three and have played less than stellar hockey, culminating in last nights drubbing at the hands of Le Habitant. (Apparently, that is french for "the Canadians". Whatever, eh?. Pull your tuke down tighter and take-off, you hoser.) The Caps not only lost 4-0, but they were out worked, out shot, out muscled and left out of breath. You could just see Coach Bruce Boudreau's head about to explode as each mistake piled up. I heard Coach Gabby was running the boys into the ice this afternoon, full scrimmage, full contact. After last nights egg laying, I can see why he feels the need to do so.

I guess I should call him and tell him that it was my fault. I said the Caps were no longer bad. As soon as I put it in print, they start a tail spin, precipitated by the continuing injury bug that has kept the team from putting its planned product on the ice since day 1. Once Gabby took over and they started to win, it didn't seem the injuries mattered much. But Shaone "I Got More Consonants in My Name than Martha Stewart has Hair on Her Chin" Morrisonn went down with a bruised foot and they haven't looked the same. Morrisonn got hurt after I wrote my last blog. See, I am dishing out all kinds of ill fate.

Need more proof that I am jinxed? Well, I watched the Maryland game and they lost to Duke. I am a Nats fan and Paul "Lo and Behold" Lo Duca tore his knee up at home. I kept saying all last year and this year that Joe Gibbs would win the Super Bowl next season, the last season of his contract, and just look at the disarray is Ashburn.

Want more? Okay, the Wizards. What happened to them the other night when I watched the game against the Milwaukee Bucks, a Bucks team sans Michael Redd? Lost. And the Wizards game against the Cavaliers last week, where the 'Zards (almost wrote "Tards" just now, haha!) were riding a 6 game winning streak.? They didn't just lose, they got shellacked! Or how about the fact that as soon as I started to check the Baltimore Sun to see what's up with Eric "I Hate Baltimore" Bedard getting traded, the deal hits a snag and is left bouncing around purgatory as we speak. (I recognize that I may have nothing to do with the Orioles bad luck since the "Curse of the Frog-Faced Barrister" trumps my bad luck to the 20th power.)

What does this all mean? That's right, you guessed it: Absolutely nothing!

I was just trying to be funny and witty... but, don't be surprised if the Patriots perfect season ends and the Freaking Giants win the Super Bowl. Actually, you might want to call your bookie now and place your bets.

Oh, and Tony Romo is gay.

The Patriots and the Giants!?!

So, the Patriots are back in the Super Bowl, going for the first ever 19-0 record. Their opponent will be... wait a minute...the New York Giants? The Freaking New York Giants?! When the hell did that happen? The team that was supposedly done before the season began, with the Manning who wasn't a winner, a coach who had lost his team, a defensive end who almost retired and their best running back in the NBC Studio all season? The Freaking New York Giants?

I'm sure all of you are in shock, much like I am, to see that the Freaking Giants are going to the Super Bowl. Who would have picked them four short months ago, besides Giant Fans on crack that is? You have to agree that none of us saw this coming. There were other teams that made more sense to represent the NFC in Super Bowl XVII before the Freaking Giants.

Green Bay was the feel good pick as I see it. The Packers were young, poised and beat the Giants early in the year. Story book ending in the making, with Favre beating the Patriots, ending their bid for perfection. Who didn't want to see Brett Favre retire with another ring?

Dallas was the hip and most logical choice. They were arguably the best team in the NFC for most of the year, mowed down the competition and had the pretty boy quarterback dating hot-ass Jessica Simpson. Even though I was dreading it, I was preparing for the 'Boys to go to the Big Game.

Even the Redskins made more sense then the Freaking Giants! They had a roller coaster year filled with close wins and painfully close losses. People really questioned whether Gibbs still had it in him. Then, Sean Taylor was murdered and it seemed like the season was done. Instead, after the two-timeout-Buffalo fiasco, the Skins suddenly put it all together and won four straight-- two of which were against the Cowboys and Giants, mind you--and the praise for Coach Gibbs and the talk of destiny began to reverberate not just in DC, but all over the airwaves as well.

But the Freaking Giants are in the Super Bowl? They beat the Cowboys in Big D? They beat Green Bay, in Green Bay, on a field goal in OT, in the minus 1 degree weather after their kicker missed twice in regulation? Eli Manning (who looks like Timmy from South Park) suddenly learned how to win? This team limped into the playoffs and now is in the Super Bowl? Are you kidding me? The Freaking Giants?
I think Jesus Christ is getting ready to make an appearance here on planet Earth real soon, folks. That's the only explanation I can come up with.



Caps Over .500



So, after a start that had them in 30th place in a 30 team league, your Nations' Capitals have gone 16-7-4 since Thanksgiving Day, pulling with in 2 points of the eighth seed for the playoffs and 3 points of of 1st place in the Southeast Division. Alex Ovechkin leads the league in goals and is only 4 points out of leading in points. Nickalus Backstrom is second in Rookie scoring, Mike Green is the Blue Line Stud the Caps haven't had in years and their new coach, Bruce Boudreau, was in the movie "Slap Shot". What a turn around! Not to mention that I love the new uniforms.

As much as I liked Glen Hanlon, he was a teaching coach, not a winning coach. He set the table for Boudreau and the Caps owe him a debt of gratitude for bringing their young players along the way he did. The most impressive part of the Caps turn around has got to be the fact that they have been missing key players thru the whole streak (Alex Semin in the beginning; Chris Clark for the past 20 games; Brian Pothier, Tom Poti and Shaone Morrison from the blue line, not to mention Michal Nylander is out for the year).

If you haven't watched a game recently, I encourage you to turn on a Caps game soon. They are fun, exciting, never give up when they are behind and are on their way up in the standongs toward a playoff birth...FINALLY!


Oh, and Sidney Crosby is a pussy.