The All-Shire Team : Updated

Well, if you haven't heard what Sean Avery (d**kweed) of the Dallas Stars said last week about ex Eliza Cuthbert (hot) dating Dion Phanuof (doofus) of the Calgary Flames, then you must have been under a rock or something. The NHL suspended Avery for 6 games and is requiring him to attend anger management classes, all just because he said that other hockey players like his sloppy seconds. (Cuthbert has reportedly dated up to 6 hockey players in the past few years. She is apparently an Alyssa Milano wanna-be, which I don't think is all that bad. Makes you want to run out and buy pads, gloves and a stick, doesn't it?) I think Avery's suspension is a bit ridiculous, if you ask me, but the situation does make a good case to add him to the All-Hobbit team. And, there is another change to the team after I gave it some thought and Drew concurred.

Left Wing Sean Avery: aka Sam-Wise Avery Well, you know about the comments last week. He's also 5'10" which just meets the height requirements to qualify as a Hobbit. Controversial, large ego and a mouth to boot. Wouldn't want to meet him in a dark alley while on a date with Cuthbert. He should be Captain of the All-Shire team. For that honor, I will wave his suspension.

Right Wing Martin St. Louis: aka Smigel Once I thought about it, I had to change his name from Bilbo to Smigel. Smigel fits so much better. Bilbo as a name was too forced and Smigel works on so many levels. St. Louis has fallen from glory after the Bolts won the Cup 5 years ago and he led the league in scoring. The team has been terrible every since. Not even The Mullet could save them. You can just picture St. Louis walking around, talking to himself, ready to take out Vinny Lecavailier if it will reunite him with his obsession, the Stanley Cup, or as he refers to it while alone in the a dark locker room, "myyy preeeciiioooussssss!"