Diarrhea of the Mind

--Lebron James is the real deal. I hate the guy and he hasn't won anything yet, but things are finally looking up for the city of Cleveland. Don't ask me why I think that, I've been drinking.

--Is it just me or does everyone else hope Barry Bonds gets hurt before he hits his record breaking homerun and has to retire?

--Hey Now! The Nats beat the Orioles on Tuesday night! I know it's too early to tell, but maybe the O-wee-oos should follow the "build from the bottom" model like the Nats have and plan for the future.

--I suck at Fantasy Baseball.

--Does anyone really care how John Daly got those cuts on his face? He still sucks!

--Only ten more days until the NHL Entry Draft! Here's hoping the Caps draft James Van Rims Dick and puts him on the same line as Alexander Semin.

--Gilbert Arenas is opting out of his contract and has told us that he will be his own agent. That gives new meaning to title "Agent Zero", as in "Zero IQ". I hope he stays. Or, maybe we can trade him to the Lakers for Kobe. That way we can rape the competition. (Insert your Duke Lacrosse Joke here.)

--Can you believe that even with the so called worst collection of starting pitchers in MLB history, and with 4/5ths of the original "Loser Rotation" currently on the DL, the Washington Nationals are only 10.5 games out of first place in the NL East? For the record, I am now gay for Nationals GM Jim Bowden. Mike Mussina who?

--In response to the nasty comments on my blog about how I compared Mike Mussina's career stats to those of Jim Palmer, I say this : Wake up, you idiots! The only grossly different stat is Mussina's ERA, which is just a little more than one point higher than "Underwear Boy". Considering the fact that Mussina pitched in the "Steroid Era" and the "Era of the Bandbox Ball Park", Palmer and Mussina's stats are more than comparable. I never said that Mussina was better than Palmer. Palmer was great, Mussina slightly better then good. But I think Moose deserves consideration for the Hall of Fame based on his statistics.

--I had a good friend tell me I was gay for Mike Mussina. Sorry, I am not. I don't even think he is good-looking. And I certainly don't have every baseball card of his, or locks of his hair and his sweaty jock from the '79 World Series (like one friend of mine, who services Eddie Murray any chance he gets). If you knew me, you would know I am gay for John Druce. Nice try, dumb ass.

--I met Ted Leonsis--again--at the Orioles/Nationals game at RFK on May 20th and he is still the nicest guy in sports! He accompanied last year's first round pick Nikalus Backstrom (who wears number 19, by the way) while Backstrom threw out the first pitch. The crowd gave Backstrom and Leonsis a standing ovation. And you don't think this is a hockey town? Whatever!

--Although the Yankees are starting to win, does anyone really care?

--I hate those people on bikes that ride down the shoulder of the road and think they have every right to hold up traffic so they can pretend they are professional bike-riders. Don't they realize that people in cars can kill them? I don't care if there is glass on the shoulder of the road that can puncture your tires. I have a car that can knock you 20 meters into the woods, Copernicus! This isn't the Tour de France, Greg Lemond. Get the hell out of my way!

I love you all. Thanks and good night.